International Pint & Pie Day FAQ
“I would rather have questions that can’t be answered,” Richard Feynman once said, “than answers that can’t be questioned.”
Well, Mr. Feynman, winner of the Nobel Prize in Physics for your fundamental work in quantum electrodynamics, we apologize in advance for disappointing you. This blog post will feature a healthy amount of the latter.
International Pint & Pie Day (October 26) is just ‘round the corner. This special holiday is for celebrating the most traditional of traditional fare served at football grounds across the United Kingdom (a pint and a pie, of course) and for honoring the formation of the Football Association (founded on October 26, 1863), the world’s oldest football governing body.
Now, since this is a holiday of the most nascent variety, wanna-be pint-quaffers and would-be pie-noshers have peppered us with questions, queries, and quandaries. We scanned the inky, black-and-white pages of history (well, at least as far back as Newspapers.com would allow) to round up these answers.
Q: Can I only tickle my tastebuds with a pint and a pie on International Pint & Pie Day?
A: Of course not. Don’t be daft! In a February 2011 edition of the Belfast Telegraph, columnist Robert McNeil informed couples preparing for Valentine’s Day that nothing really says “I love you” quite like a pint and pie. A bouquet of roses, one supposes, truly never stood a chance.
Q: England’s modern food renaissance is a nationwide culinary revival that has transformed the country’s cuisine from a global punchline into an acclaimed, vibrant, and multi-faceted food culture. Do the traditional pint and pie still have a place at the table?
A: We have yet to see a duck-liver parfait with a fig jam quenelle carry supporters through a wet, windy night in Stoke.
Q: What pairs well with a pint and a pie?
A: Mushy peas. Thick-cut chips. A rich gravy. An October 1971 edition of the Reading Evening Post ran a story on Americanophilic Englishmen cosplaying as Union and Confederate soldiers for a U.S. Civil War battle re-enactment. Afterwards, the sides banged out a treaty over pints, pies, and … cigarettes. (Virginia tobacco, of course.)
Q: In the early 1990s, Manchester United marketing manager Danny McGregor suggested that the average supporter’s hospitality requirements stretched no further than what he described as the “three Ps: a pint, a pie, and a piss.” Does the order matter?
A: Most certainly. The first P creates the need for the third P, and the second P makes it worth the long walk to the toilet.
Q: I read about pint-and-pie charity events that have raised money for prostate cancer research and for sufferers of foot and mouth disease as well as awareness for Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency. What should my pint-and-pie charity event raise money/awareness for?
A: Chronic goalkeeper obesity.
Q: Is tucking into a pint and a pie a valid reason for missing the birth of a child?
A: Author and journalist Hunter Davies can answer this one, and he’s been doing so to the missus since 1964. The verdict: Only if it’s a chicken kiev pie from Baldy’s.
Q: Can you tell me a funny pint-and-pie joke?
A: In September 1975, Ian Green of Greenford submitted this chestnut to the Greenford & Northolt Gazette:
A man went into a pub and ordered a pint and a pie. He drank the pint and rubbed the pie into his hair. The next day he ordered a pint and a pie and did the same. On the third night, he ordered a pint and a pie, but the bartender said: “We have no pies, only crisps, sir.” So, he ordered crisps instead. While he was rubbing the crisps into his hair, a man came in and asked him: “Why are you rubbing crisps into your hair?” He replied: “They haven’t got any pies tonight.”
This veritable knee-slapper nabbed Ian £1 in prize money.
Q: That’s all you got?
A: How ‘bout this. A Bolton chap told his best mate from Wigan about the amazing lunchtime offer down at the pub: a pint, a pie, and a woman for 80p. “Hmm,” said the Wigan man warily. “Whose pies are they?”
Q: Oh bother. How about just passing along a recipe for a lovely savory pie.